Only in Canada, eh?

It looks like Ontario and Quebec are finally catching on to what Western Canadians have known for decades: that the Liberal government that Ontario and Quebec keeps forcing on the rest of us is corrupt to the core. Billions wasted on a gun registry, the spectre of Kyoto, billions wasted on "human resources" projects that don't create a single job... these things were simply not on the radar in Ontario and Quebec.

So PM Chretien pressures the president of the Bank of Canada, a federal employee, to authorise a loan to the owner of an inn next door to Chretien's golf course... swish! Right over their head. Prime Minister physically assaults protester and chokes him to the ground: not even a blip on the radar in Ontario and Quebec. Small wonder the Liberals got cocky.

You see, the Liberals had a formula down pat for most of the last century; occupy the political center, take planks from both the left and right platforms, divide the country along regional lines, and become the default position, allowing the other parties to take the fringes. That way you play the regions off against one another instead of facing real opponents in Parlaiment.

For most of the last 100 years, this strategy has worked. One of the most effective methods is to drain money from one prosperous region and redistribute it to the others. As long as the money was pretty much evenly balanced in Ontario and a net influx of cash for Quebec, neither had a reason to complain. The complaints of Albertans being drained of 200 billion dollars over thirty years could be dismissed as the slack-jawed ramblings of western hicks and rubes, hayseeds. After all, the money was being well-spent on things that benefitted the whole country, right?

Only now, we have Auditor-General Sheila Fraser's report on the Quebec ad sponsorship program, which has since become known as Adscam.

Some background: in 1995 Quebec held its second referendum on independence. However, the referendum was badly worded, and its purpose was not clear. It held forth such vague ideas as "asserting Quebec's unique character", without coming right out and saying that a "yes" vote meant a vote for independence. The referendum was nearly lost; the margin was less than one percent. Chretien had badly fumbled the ball. He had followed the strategy he used throughout his career: in a crisis, do nothing. It will all take care of itself; don't worry, be happy.

Shaken that he nearly entered the history books as the prime minister who broke up Canada, Chretien orchestrated through Alphonso Gagliano, then minister of Public Works, a series of ad campaigns in Quebec. Obstensibly the idea was if the federal government kicked in cash for cultural events, and the word "canada" was prominently displayed at these events, then Quebecers would be happier about being in Canada.

Hundreds of millions of dollars went into these sponsorship programs. But not all of the money got to the events themselves. The ad agencies involved were taking a percentage cut, in many cases for merely passing money from one department of government to another. Sometimes there weren't even contracts signed.

The majority of these contracts went to only a handful of firms, which were all heavy contributors to the Liberal Party of Canada. Due to the lack of a paper trail in many cases, the auditor-general has not been able to trace where all the money has gone. Seventy million dollars is sure a lot of loose change to lose in the seat cushions.

Scandal after scandal after scandal, and none of it stuck to "teflon" Jean Chretien. So why is the current A-G's report causing such a stir?

Chretien knew about the contents of the report back in November. More than a year before he had vowed to stay on as Prime Minister until this February. However, the week before the Auditor-general was due to release her report, Chretien called it quits and shut down the session of Parlaiment. Thus, the A-G's report had to be tabled until Parlaiment resumed this year, with Paul Martin now leader of the Liberal Party and thus the Prime Minister-designate.

This is the same Paul Martin who was the Finance Minister in the Liberal government for nine years, the guy who signs the budget for each government department. The guy who cuts the checks. That is, he did, until a faction within the party began moving to replace Chretien as leader and put Martin in the top spot. The petty Chretien fired Martin from Cabinet a year ago, and until this session sat in the backbenches. And now, with Chretien safely retired, Martin takes the heat.

And so we come to today, and Ontario and Quebec have finally wised up a little: not so much about the federal transfer payment program, but about the fact that so much of everyone's tax dollars are wasted - on an elaborate 5.3 million dollar circumpolar dinner trip for the Governer Genral and her cronies, on fountains in Chretien's riding of Shawinigan, on advertising to Quebecers that they are in Canada, and on elaborate kickback schemes in which millions of tax dollars are poured into Liberal Party coffers.

And now, finally, they're pissed off too. I'm in a dreaming mood today: I dream of the day they finally see that what we've been talking about in Alberta for so long is not the ranting of racist inbred redneck hillbillies - that there are far greater amounts of money that are simply utterly wasted. The day when they will see that a billion dollars spent tracking the personal information of millions of law-abiding gun owners will not make one single arrest and not be a good investment. The day when the realization dawns that if the Alberta economy is crippled by a carbon tax in order to meet arbitrary Kyoto targets, then people will be cutting down trees and burning wood in order to stay warm through the winter.

[rant]
Ontario and Quebec have a choice in the next election, expected this April or May (the Prime Minister gets to pick the date, it could theoretically be anytime in the next 21 months). They can continue to vote for the Liberal Party out of a prejudice against any western-based political movement (because we are - get this - intolerant), they can go even further to the land of make believe and vote for the socialist NDP or Bloc Quebecois, or they can hand a solid majority to the Conservative party.

It doesn't matter which way Alberta or BC votes, or if we vote at all. When the polling closes here at 8pm, they've already been counting the votes in Manitoba for an hour and Ontario and Quebec for two or three. We can turn on the TV at 8 o'clock, and before the first of our votes are even counted, the announcer tells us who our new government is. Gosh thanks, Peter Mansbridge. Thanks for showing me exactly how much my vote counts. Alberta and BC are only a quarter of the population of this country, not like we matter to the political system here.

So I leave it up to Ontario and Quebec. What kind of country do you want?

Do you want a corrupt third-world banana republic? then go ahead and vote Liberal, and line your pockets with carbon tax money for a while; the only ones you will hurt will be Alberta companies, as happened with the unconstitutional National Energy Plan. Remember the recession in the 80's? what do you think triggered that, hmmm?

Go ahead, vote Liberal, I dare you. I triple-double dog dare you. Even better, as you're doing so, assume that we Albertans will meekly submit, trusting in your ability to see injustice as we did with the NEP. That will be really funny.

Because I can tell you right now, it won't work again. We were fooled once with the NEP, believing that the Supreme court would see that the NEP was an unconstitutional tax grab. Well, we won't be fooled a second time. Go ahead, vote in the Liberals, let them get away with stealing all of Canadians' money and covering it up by diversion, by stealing more from Alberta to give to the rest. Let them bring in their carbon tax. And watch as the rumblings of western separatism become a full-blown eruption.

Vote Liberal and have a nice country without us.
[/rant]